i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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