We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
