Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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