I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize