He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
