dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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