after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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