ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
