Having a random hookup so left but love u
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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