My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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