I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
