The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
