Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Enjoy the penises
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
