She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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