Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
