shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
