you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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