I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
