He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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