If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
