Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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