idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish I only lived at night.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
