Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
