I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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