Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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