On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
