do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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