The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Randomize
