High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
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The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
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We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.