i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.