Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.