his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.