If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.