Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
