drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
