so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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