i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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