So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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