just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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