u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
