Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
