if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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