try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Randomize
