Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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