so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
