I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
