I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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