so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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