I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
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Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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