I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
wow bdsm is so cute
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize