at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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