Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
