I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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