I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize