erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
