well you can't waste a boner
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
