so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
