You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
