I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
my shit smells like andre
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
