I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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