Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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