how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
