return my video game
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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