We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
