U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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