GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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