like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
