It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
